One of the main points in the book I read is that verbal abuse is a matter of control or having power over another. The author describes two types of power in the book. One type of power is called power over and this type of power is about domination and control. The second type of power is called personal power and that power is about reciprocity and co-creation. When an abuser uses power over them they expect to get what they want by using power because, as stated before, verbal abuse is about maintaining power over another person. Power also involves what the book calls poisonous pedagogy and this is defined as a toxic method of teaching or raising a child. Poisonous pedagogy could play a role in why an abuser uses verbal abuse as power and control and the reason I say this because an abuser may have been surrounded by abuse in his childhood and modeled the behavior he saw occur and perhaps it did. I don't see anything wrong with it. The author discussed the research she had completed and talked about how the abused partner believes that she and her partner live in the same reality but the truth is that they live in different realities. For example, a girl makes a statement to her boyfriend and the guy "doesn't like it," then says something negative that makes the partner wonder if he really did something wrong even though he feels like he didn't. the book is aimed at the characteristics of a verbal abuser and also the ways in which an abuser tries to divert their behavior onto their partner. Some of the characteristics talked about in the book are rejection, defined as the abuser holding back their true feelings when their part... middle of paper... someone who verbally abuses as the book does a good job in point out what those signs might be. Denial is one of the deviations discussed in the book and how an abuser can deny that his words are a problem. The book also has some great checklists and questions for people to answer if they feel they are in a verbally abusive relationship. A boy or girl calling someone they say they love by their name can hurt just as much as a boy or girl slapping someone they love. say love. There are feelings and power behind the words and in the hands of another person. In conclusion, another thing that this book helps me understand when dealing with abuse cases is that I have to start wherever the client is when dealing with abuse and there are chapters in the book that offer explanations as to why a person He is a verbal abuser. and why the victim continues to stay.