Sibling Rivalry: Cause and Effect Essay Introduction: Many people have an idea of what the “perfect” family is. Perhaps this ideal includes parents who love their children unconditionally or children who enjoy and tolerate each other. In reality, the perfect family does not exist at all. Most families have at least some problems that pop up occasionally or maybe they are just completely dysfunctional. A common problem that occurs in families is sibling rivalry, which is the topic of this essay. Background: Sibling rivalry is often known as jealousy or competition between brothers and/or sisters. This problem has existed for years and years, as seen mentioned in the Bible between Cain and Abel. Cain and Abel were biblical figure brothers. Each of them had to bring a sacrifice to God. When Abel's sacrifice was bigger and better than his brother's, Cain became angry and killed Abel out of jealousy. In extreme cases, sibling rivalry can even be fatal. Thesis Statement: A parent's careless attitude is the cause of sibling rivalry. Lack of attention, structure and acceptance due to parental inattention will cause conflict between siblings. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Topic Sentence: Parents play an extremely vital and significant role in a child's life. From birth, the baby needs the mother's affection and attention to develop properly. Because parents are so important, “both mothers and fathers provide essential influences…on children's emotion regulation abilities” (Miller, “Sibling…”). Evidence and quotes: A parent's lack of attention can be harmful to children, especially if one sibling gets recognition and another doesn't. A parent who is careless about some children and is too focused on himself or another child is the source of budding sibling rivalry. Comment: Lack of attention will cause a child to become jealous of his siblings who receive attention perhaps because of their good grades or their athleticism. This can also happen if a child feels threatened by a new child in the family who is getting all the attention. The child may feel abandoned or neglected and it is difficult to lose his position at the center of attention. Jealousy will sow animosity towards a sibling leading to a competition between the attention grabber and the forgotten child. No child wants to be treated unfairly. A child may experience jealousy because of the “threat of losing a valuable relationship with a rival” (Miller, “Sibling…”). This careless lack of attention can also cause children to act out just to get some sort of attention. Children can easily gain this negative attention by arguing with their siblings just to excite their parents. Many aspects can cause lack of attention, but "stress in parents' lives can decrease the amount of time and attention parents can devote to their children and increase sibling rivalry." Topic sentence: A parent who does not care about creating a structure for the home will lead to a high probability of their children fighting. This is common when children “don't have rules to guide their behavior, so they tend… to fight more.” Evidence and Quotes: Children can often become anxious in a home without structure. Therefore, they do not know what to expect or how to behave with their family. Therefore, children will continually try to test the waters and test boundaries through sibling fights. This will help the child toknow what exactly you want from him. Stress and anxiety in a child's life can "shorten their fuses and decrease their ability to tolerate frustration, leading to further conflict." Comment: It is crucial that parents care enough about creating structure in the home because it “gives children a sense of security and control in a world full of uncertainty – and helps create healthy habits that last into adulthood” ( Buskirk, Wendy). Children need clear rules to follow, parents who don't bother to create them are the cause of conflict between their children. “Having established routines can also reinforce better behavior” so that children can learn to get along with their siblings instead of competing with them. In many homes, parents neglect their children and there is no structure in the home. This will lead to many problems, but the main problem is sibling rivalry. Even neglected and bored children will become frustrated. Parents who fail to spend regular time together as a family, such as sitting down and having dinner, can increase the chance of children becoming involved in conflicts with each other. Having established routines can help children be “able to deal with the unknown” and become less likely to start fights. This will help reduce anxiety and make children more cooperative and less resistant. Topic Sentence: Lack of acceptance from parents can be very hard on siblings and children. One of the most basic human needs is to belong. This will affect them in many aspects of life, even as they age into adults. Evidence and Quotes: Lack of approval can cause deep-rooted problems in children and adolescents. Their mental images of themselves will be distorted if they don't get the hug they need, causing other psychological problems as well. Comment: Many children feel as if they have to fit the mold of other siblings or older siblings. They think they have to be and live up to the things their siblings have done because their parents will have the same expectations of them. These children may find themselves “competing to define who they are as individuals.” Children will act out by fighting with their brothers and sisters, just to show that they are separated from their siblings. They want to be accepted for their talents and if they see their parents more involved in the interests of their siblings they will become jealous and behave badly. It has been shown that "how parents treat their children and react to conflicts can make a big difference in how well siblings get along." Topic sentence: Some people believe that sibling rivalry is not caused by careless attitudes of parents at all. It is believed that sibling rivalry can start outside the home. Evidence and Quotes: Sibling rivalry could be caused by approval from peers or teachers. Having an older sibling who is very successful in sports, school, or just social life can be daunting for a younger sibling. Younger siblings feel the need to live up to the achievements of their brother and sister. Comment: For example, a math teacher might expect you to do very well in his class because your older sister always got A's, but math is not your strong subject at all. This can cause conflict between siblings because you constantly feel compared to your siblings by your peers and other mentors. The sibling will feel jealous of the appreciation the other sibling has gotten or continues to get. There will be frustration because they know they are a different person and have a different mind than their brothers and/or sisters. Not.
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