The problem with an unreliable narrator is often choosing what to believe. In the case of Vladimir Nabokov's incestuously illicit novel Lolita, it turns out to be an intriguing situation, as narrator Humbert Humbert's unreliability is undoubtedly severe, but his compelling intellect persuades the reader to at least consider his point of view and reasoning . Since one of Humbert's main goals in his testimony is to persuade his "jury" that he was indeed in love with his pre-pubescent stepdaughter - whom he had essentially kidnapped and repeatedly taken advantage of sexually - he is somehow able to make us consider his disturbing and inconceivable statement as truthful, an indicator of his powerful persuasion. So is it possible that this clearly untrustworthy and hateful pedophile loved Lolita as much as he says he does? As unlikely an idea as it is, there are many indications that his feelings were more than driven by the flesh. He even tells his audience at a point where he has nothing to gain by pleading: “You may mock me and threaten to clear the court, but until I am gagged and half-choked, I will shout my poor truth. I insist that the world know how much I loved my Lolita, this Lolita, pale and polluted, and grown up with another's child... but still mine” [Nabokov, 278]. Indeed, there are many signs (like this one) that point to the truth behind the pathological pedophile's claim; in fact, there is enough evidence in his reflection to prove that Humbert truly loved Lolita. Or rather, he loved her in the sense he understood love. In conventional terms, Humbert had no right to classify his relationship with Lolita as love, but from the twisted perspective of a man with obvious mental imbalances it was love in the only way he knew how to express it. Since love is a very difficult abstraction to define, Humbert's aberrant obsession with Lolita illustrates his personal perception of love and also allows the audience to probe the roots and logic of one's misconception of love. disturbed pedophile. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Humbert's unconventional and frightening understanding of love can only be understood by looking at the twisted fate of his childhood. When he was about the same age as his beloved Lolita, he began a relationship with a young girl named Annabel Leigh, which he similarly regarded as love, saying: "Suddenly we were madly, awkwardly, shamelessly, anguishedly in love the of each other." [Nabokov, 12]. This infatuation certainly turned out to be nothing more than an adolescent crush, which by Humbert's account was prone to sexual experimentation. When Annabel died tragically of typhus, a few months after Humbert's second and final chance to "possess" her, Humbert was trapped in a youthful understanding of an incredibly powerful emotion. In this early adolescent period of Humbert's life he had already begun to use the term "love" loosely, and his appreciation for the connotation of the word was not fully realized. From his account of their relationship it appears that their simple passion for competitive tennis as well as their sexual curiosities were the only interests shared between the two; and because of this premature romance (her sudden death did not allow it to blossom into something of true affection), Humbert began to associate love and lust as interchangeable. After her passing, Humbert was never able to free himself from his unquenchable desirefor the young "nymphet" who never managed to "possess"; nor could he free his psyche from the fallacious perception of love that had developed within him. This false sense of love, rooted in both lust and nympholepsy, follows Humbert throughout his life and finally reaches its climax with Lolita. The first descriptions of his emotions towards Lolita are all physically driven, as he is unable to focus on anything except her 'honey shoulders' or 'youthful breasts' [Nabokov, 39] and his passion for Lolita it seems to parallel his love for Annabel – albeit more extreme. Ironically, he also spends a lot of time trying to teach Lolita how to play tennis competitively, which symbolizes the relentless cycle of destruction his obsession has held over him, through his correspondence with his pubescent relationship with Annabel. However, after he has already had sexual intercourse with Lolita, he sees her become pregnant by another man and observes what he calls "the faint purple breath and echo of dead leaves of the nymphet" [Nabokov, 277] - it is only then that he finally and completely professes his true love for Lolita. This statement makes the reader wonder whether he has actually undergone a change – whether he has actually developed a true understanding of love, separate from the youthful one he had carried with him throughout his life. If he claimed to have still loved her when she was seventeen and carrying another man's child, this indicates that he had undergone some sort of change and that his feelings for Lolita were more of a carnal obsession than her youthful appearance . Humbert's transformation is undeniable, but does it represent love? The truth is that Humbert wasn't lying when he said he loved Lolita, because in his mind he loved her to the best of his ability. The problem is that Humbert didn't know what true love meant and his way of expressing love was scary. According to the prevailing perception of the word, Humbert did not love Lolita, but despite his despicable behavior, it is unfair to assume that he did not believe he loved her. Evidently, the debate over whether Humbert really loved Lolita is not a simple one; it is a very complex issue. It begs the impossible-to-ignore question: How can a man who plotted the murder of his wife in order to have sexual freedom with his 12-year-old stepdaughter say he loves her? Furthermore, how can he defend this claim after controlling her, sexually abusing her, and killing the first man she claimed to have real feelings for [Nabokov, 279]? But what does he have to gain by declaring that he loves her, when his grave fate is already sealed? Nothing. And that, more than anything he said directly, shows that he believed he loved her, because he had no reason to lie. What did love for Humbert Humbert look like then, and how did it differ from the established connotation? First, love as he understood it knew no boundaries. Although he was aware of the abnormality and illegality of his desire, he did not consider it forbidden. The age difference between him and his beloved was no obstacle, as this normally forbidden "love" was not to be discouraged. The second and most important component of Humbert's perception of love was the lack of reciprocity that was necessary for him. The fact that Humbert was able to love without being loved in return, as well as the fact that he attempted to extract love from Lolita, illustrates the radically incorrect understanding of tenderness that he possessed. Finally, as previously mentioned, an unhealthy balance of lust and perversion consumed his notion of love, as few details are spared in the chronicle of his sexual desires and "achievements" towards the young nymphet., 1991.