Defining LoveFor ​​many, love can be defined as a deeply tender and passionate affection for another person. However, it can also be defined as a sexual passion or desire. One of the various meanings of sex can be seen as feelings or behaviors arising from the urge to gratify the sexual instinct. However, most associate and confuse love with the definition of sex by using them interchangeably. They interpret love as manifesting through sexual intimacy or physical attraction. Since in most cases feelings are involved during the sexual act, you may feel as if you are showing or receiving love. In the readings Quartett by Heiner Muller, Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb, and Times Square Blue by Samuel Delany you can see the numerous definitions of how love was defined by the characters or people in each reading. First, in Quartett, Muller presents a dialogue between two former lovers who had a perverse romance before the French Evolution. The two lovers expressed themselves openly and sometimes even cruelly. Second, in the essay Times Square Blue, Delany examined the aspects of New York City affected by the Times Square Development Program. He grieves the loss of the period of sexual release that 42nd Street had to offer. People who ventured onto 42nd Street to movie theaters or pornographic shows were not necessarily looking for love but for someone or something to satisfy their sexual desires. Finally, in the article “Marry Him,” Gottlieb advises middle-aged single women to settle down before it's too late. At first, Gottlieb dreamed of marrying his soulmate, but as he traveled through life and moved from one partner to another, he began to think that his standards were unrealistic and instead of waiting for true love he should settle for comfort and stability. Since everyone has a different interpretation of what love is and how to love, no one really knows which definition to follow. However, sometimes how they choose to define it can delay them from discovering the meaning of true love. They must differentiate the difference between love and sex and value that difference while respecting the meaning of human sexuality which is part of what allows people to find true love. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Because we live in a sex-obsessed society and culture, people are prevented from finding the true meaning of love. When sex is treated only as a form of pleasure, people lose their sense of what love is. They only know the sensations of what brings them the feelings of having sex that keeps them from truly loving with their heart and not their body. Delany states in the essay “there were encounters whose important aspect was the exchange of mutual pleasure, an aspect which, yes, colored all the other aspects, but did not imply any kind of life commitment” (56). The people who had those sexual encounters in those porn cinemas were just looking for moments of fun. They used their bodies not to express love itself but to use one of its elements, such as pleasure which is an instinctive need to get something in return. Living this way, these people will never experience the true satisfaction or pleasure of love. Similarly, in Quartett, the two lovers negotiated or expressed their love through pleasure. It seems that the basis of the relationship between Merteuil and Valmont was sex. The character Merteuil even stated that “the greatestbliss is the bliss of animals” (Muller 108). They both enjoyed and saw sex as a primitive thing and loved it only through the physical moments. Their relationship exemplified how they defined love for each other as long as their physical desire was considered and satisfied. They needed each other to satisfy their thirst for sexual pleasure, which is definitely not love. Sex is in a sense an aspect of love, but when it is seen only as a form of physical enjoyment, then it makes people love only to quench their desire or to gain pleasure. If they cannot discern that love is separate from sex, then they will delay themselves from truly loving someone through their heart, mind, and soul and not just through the body. Sex should be seen as sacred. Since sacred means “to set apart,” sex should be set aside in a place of honor between a man and a woman who truly love each other. Sex should be something between husband and wife. But how can you ever find that person to marry if he doesn't respect the meaning of sex? The answer is that they won't. Consequently, in Marry Him, Gottlieb's advice to women was simply to get married, settle down, and “not worry about passion or intense connection” (78). He was simply saying that love is not a factor when considering marriage. Women should simply choose someone to marry regardless of their standards or their dreams of finding their soulmate or life partner. For this reason, many people have marriages that don't work and end up single and alone anyway without ever discovering true love. Likewise, in Times Square Blue, most people sort of followed the advice Gottlieb set out to give to middle-aged women. Although they were looking for passion, they only wanted passion for the moment and not a deep connection with someone. Delany stated that “Shallow wisdom holds that people like this simply don't want relationships” (40). The people he was referring to were the people who frequented those porn cinemas, even if they claimed they didn't want relationships, in reality they still had a relationship with that person, especially if they met them regularly. They were simply having relationships that only showed the physical aspect of love and no deeper connection beyond that. However, because they do not treat sex as a sacred bond between two people, they will never experience the relationship of two people who love each other. In this way, they will still remain blind to the definition of love because they have no respect for the true meaning of sex. People often don't consider love when seeking long-term romantic happiness. Sometimes, they intentionally put up walls and boundaries around their heart when they only use sex as a form of connection in the relationship. In Quartett, the character Valmont states that “happy is he who can stop the clocks of the world: eternity as an eternal erection” (Muller 109). Valmont said that a person will be happy as long as he has sex outside of his life. He didn't mention anything about having love. It exemplifies that if one only has passion and a partner to share it with, then there is no need to have love, thus making sex the sole basis of their bond. It's as if they use sex to replace the thought of being alone. You might think that if you continue to experience the feeling of passion you will somehow avoid being alone. Therefore, this is one of the reasons why some women consider settling down or eventually settle down. Similarly, in Marry Him, the author states “but the message is the same: more important than love is marriage” (81). Gottlieb states that in.